Riscatto - Chapter 9

Electrifying sparks ran through him, quickening his pulse and getting in the way of his breathing. He barely noticed anymore; it was becoming somewhat of a routine.

It was when they broke for air that Lovino realized he was tearing up a little. He wiped the corners of his eyes quickly, not wanting Antonio to point out that he was crying yet again.

Antonio loved him.

Antonio loved him.

Antonio loved him.

The Spaniard laughed with glee and forced a tight hug with the Italian. "I've wanted to tell you that for so long!" There was nothing but pure delight resounding through his voice.

Lovino, shocked, craned his neck up to look at Antonio. "R-really?" He stuttered, somehow managing to look Antonio in the eyes. When Antonio nodded, Lovino continued, "H-how long?"

"Hmm," Antonio looked up to the ceiling in thought, then back to Lovino with a smile, "Probably since day one." He tapped Lovino's nose like he always used to when Lovino was a kid.

"Wait a second!" Lovino gushed when reality struck. "That's pedophilia! That's gross, you stupid jerk!" Lovino pushed him away and pounded him lightly.

Antonio only laughed. "It was a different kind of love, then," he explained when Lovino finally ceased fire. There was a pause in which Antonio looked up again in thought before he continued, "I think I really loved you – you know, this way – around the time when you united with your brother. You were basically gone all the time; I never go to see you. So I guess that's when I really noticed that I loved you for real, because I missed and thought about you so much…It was hard living without you."

Lovino, in shock, just stared at the elder. His unification with Feliciano was around a century ago…Which, granted, wasn't long for a country…

But it was probably painfully long for a country in love.

"That…long?" Lovino managed. When Antonio nodded, he stumbled on, "Why…didn't you tell me?" Thinking on it, Lovino realized that he probably would have accepted Antonio's feelings, even then. Even though he had never acknowledged his own feelings before now.

"I hinted at it back then," the Spaniard answered with a smile, "but whenever I did, you punched me in the stomach."

"O-oh," Lovino gloomed, his head dropping, "sorry…"

Antonio only patted his head, ruffled his hair affectionately. "I have you now. That's all that matters." A second passed, then Antonio moved his hand slowly and deliberately to the curl in Lovino's hair. He ran his forefinger and thumb down its length, eliciting an excited cry from the younger.

"A-antonio, d-don't…" Lovino whispered, almost completely aroused already. His hair was one of his most sensitive places. "A-ah…"

"You mean I can finally touch this?" Antonio sang, his mouth right beside Lovino's ear.

"N-no, y…you can't…gah…" Lovino tried to ward the elder off, but when Antonio licked and nibbled at his earlobe, he was defenseless. His hands clenched themselves into tight fists, though he barely noticed the pain. Lovino clenched his eyes shut, fought his hardest against the moan that was building up in the back of his throat.

It was useless. He moaned in pleasure. "Nngah, damnit, you…stupid jerk…stop…" He was telling Antonio to stop, but every part of his body screamed for the Spaniard to continue.  

Antonio backed off a second later, cupped Lovino's face in either of his hands and rested his forehead against Lovino's. "You're beautiful, you know," the Spaniard began, knocking Lovino into a more solid state of reality. "I can't get enough of you…"

Lovino went scarlet again – he was getting used to the tightness he felt in his cheeks as they heated up – and slowly began to realize what was panning out before him.

Antonio, who was basically naked, was messing with one of his most sensitive areas and declaring love.

Antonio, who was basically naked…

Basically naked!

"H-hey," Lovino stuttered, backing up a bit, "you're half-naked! You…jerk! You pervert! Put some clothes on already!" He managed to climb onto his feet and turn his back.  

Antonio only laughed behind him. He heard the sound of the door closing and cheerful Spanish whistling.

Lovino looked around for a moment, thinking things over. Antonio made moves on him, quite often. How far did he want to go with the Italian, and how far was the younger willing to go?

With a sigh, Lovino chewed his bottom lip and ran a hand through his hair, fruitless. He didn't know the answers to either of those questions, which was frustrating. Knowing how far he himself was willing to go should have been a no-brainer, a definite. It was a plain, black-and-white sort of question; a question that could be answered with a yes or a no.

Was he willing to go all the way with Antonio?

Lovino thought about what 'all the way' entailed and felt himself blushing fiercely.

No, he was definitely not ready to go that far.

But he loved Antonio, and Antonio loved him. Didn't two people in love have sex? Wasn't that supposed to be the ultimate declaration, or something?

But…They had been together for what, a couple of days? Wasn't there supposed to be a waiting period? To make sure the other was serious, and that the relationship would last?

They had only been together officially for a couple of days, and yet Lovino had already told Antonio he loved him, and vice-versa.

Wasn't that a bad thing? Wasn't there supposed to be a waiting period for that, too?

Lovino exhaled heavily. He wanted to rip his hair out.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Antonio whispered in his ear suddenly, causing Lovino to jump nearly out of his skin.

"Ah, you damn jerk! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Lovino gushed, fighting to catch his breath and blushing a little with Antonio's proximity.

Antonio only smiled, took both of his hands in either of his. A moment passed, in which Antonio studied Lovino closely, and Lovino was unable to keep his gaze on the Spaniard's. "You know you can still talk to me, right?" Antonio said with a tilt of his head. "You don't have to be embarrassed or hide your thoughts just because we're a couple now."

"A…couple," Lovino repeated softly, looking to their entwined hands. Now that Antonio had said it – and now that he said it, too – it seemed even more concrete, more definite. Somehow this made his heart race with anxiety, and he knew he was blushing too.

"Do you not want to be?" Antonio asked, and there was such emotion in his words Lovino was forced to meet his gaze.

Those emerald eyes were deeper than Lovino had ever noticed them to be before; they were full of nervousness and preparation for hurt. Lovino had never seen such emotions in those eyes before. That alone was enough to make him bridge the gap between their arms, so that his face was inches from Antonio's. "I…I want it to be," Lovino whispered, knowing that his words were true.

"Ah, I'm so happy!" Antonio gushed, pulling Lovino into a tight hug. Lovino blushed madly, and his breathing faltered, but when Antonio's scent washed over him, he felt everything calming, if only a bit.

They backed off enough to see one another's face, and Antonio pressed, "So what were you thinking about?"

Oblivious, as usual, Lovino thought with a groan as he thought of ways out of this conversation.

He had to fight with himself, too; part of him wanted to talk with Antonio about what was going through his mind, and badly. But another half was dead-set against it, labeled it too embarrassing.

"No thinking…" he murmured to himself. If Antonio was serious, if he really could talk to the elder about anything, then this should be a piece of cake.

Sighing, Lovino steeled his will and looked into Antonio's questioning eyes. "Okay, if you really wanna know, I'll tell you." Antonio nodded, and Lovino forced himself to continue, "I was…thinking about…um, sex."

Antonio's quizzical look only deepened, which was the opposite of what Lovino was expecting. "What about it?"

"Um…well…I was thinking about how people do it when they're in love, as a sort of ultimate declaration sort of thing, right?" Lovino's eyes were everywhere as he spoke, but they landed on Antonio's at the end of the sentence. Antonio nodded, and he continued, "Well, I was thinking about how…How I love you,"-his face went scarlet here, and he was unable to keep his gaze on Antonio's—"and how you…love me. S-s-so I was thinking, 'Should we do that?' But then I thought that we've only been a couple for three days or something, and there's supposed to be a waiting period before you do it with someone, right? And then I was thinking there's supposed to be a waiting period before you tell someone you love them, too, so I wasn't sure where that left us. I mean I…might want to do that with you someday but I don't think right now is good and, uh, I thought that would make me 'easy' or something like that, and I don't want you to think that of me…" He drifted off, realizing that he was rambling and sounding like a complete schoolgirl.

Antonio took one of Lovino's hands in his and brought his knuckles up to his lips. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for," he whispered. "And I promise the sex is only a plus for me. I've waited so long, I don't care how long it takes you to be ready. I love you, and I want you, not just your body."

Lovino bit his lower lip, feeling his tear ducts stinging again. His heart was gushing in nervousness and love, and he was unsure if it was real, seeing as they had only been together for a few days.

"Antonio," Lovino whispered, gulping, "is this real?"

Gently, Antonio moved Lovino's head to his chest. "Hear that heartbeat?" he murmured, rubbing Lovino's shoulder with his free hand.

"A-ah, yeah?" Lovino flicked his eyes upwards to catch a glimpse of Antonio's.

"It's all for you."

A blissful moment of peace passed before frantic knocking reached their door. "Fratello, Spagna!" The door opened a moment later, and a rather disheveled Feliciano burst through. "The Allies called," he continued, his voice a grave tone that Lovino rarely heard from his fratellino, "they're ordering a meeting, immediately. England in particular is very angry."

A weight graced Lovino's shoulders, a dreadfully heavy one. He could sense the reason why England was angry and demanding a meeting out of nowhere. "Ah," he said heavily, a sense of dread coming on.

Ludwig appeared in the doorway, then, wearing a full suit and tie outfit. "Italia," he began, "go get your suit on. We're going to be late." Feliciano nodded and left, silently. That alone shocked Lovino into his own stupor.

"I guess I'm going home, then," Antonio yawned, pulling away from Lovino. The younger's heart panged, though he was loath to admit it. He didn't want to go through this without Antonio, though there was no way he was admitting that.

"How are you getting there?" Ludwig asked, all business, as usual.

Antonio paused for a long moment, and Lovino let out a heavy sigh. "I…I don't know…train?"

"Too risky," the stupid German shook his head. "You can stay here and wait, if you want…"

"I can't take a boat, or a car or something?"

Ludwig shook his head. "Anything leaving from Germany is immediately considered a threat by the Allies…and if they were to stop whatever you were riding in to inspect it, and found you there…They may think of you as a member of the Axis."

Lovino cursed under his breath. He hated this whole ordeal; the only reason he was a part of this was because Feliciano had to jump for Ludwig…If his fratellino didn't make such rash and sudden decisions for the man, he may have been able to convince his brother otherwise. Wars were just too troublesome – Lovino didn't want anything to do with them, personally. Unless it was a war that explicitly concerned the two of them, he was better off on his own, with his brother or with Antonio.

His laid-back attitude in the face of war was a trait he inherited from Antonio. He inherited a lot from that idiot, even if he didn't want to admit it sometimes.

Antonio sighed. "But I wanna go hoooooommmee!" He whined.

"Stop whining," Lovino ordered at once. He thought for a second before continuing, "Maybe…maybe you could…go…to my house…" he mumbled, not liking the idea of leaving the Spaniard alone in his home.

"Aaahhh, that would be fun! I haven't been to your house in ages!"

Lovino sighed once more. "Alright, I'll provide personal transportation from my men."

Ludwig folded his arms, raised a quizzical eyebrow. "How are your men going to get here from Italy in five minutes?"

"I have men stationed here," Lovino growled as he pushed past the German in favor of the doorway. "Where's your phone?"

"Wait," Ludwig ordered, resting a hand on his shoulder. Lovino winced at the contact but did nothing to shake him off. "you have men stationed in Germany?"

"I have men stationed everywhere." Lovino scowled, shrugging Ludwig's shoulder off his arm. "Even in the Allied countries. Of course, there's nothing they can do to stop me. They don't even know my men are there. Now, where's your phone?"

"A-ah," Ludwig stuttered, which both and surprised and pleased the Italian quite a bit, "down the hall…You'll probably hear Italia singing…"

Lovino nodded and moved past him, not feeling the need for more direction.